Melody of my life

How would it be if there is a unique melody for me? How does it sound? Happy or sad? Sweet or bitter? No clue.

I wish i could have my album of songs to illustrate the story line of my life. I can listen to it whenever i want while i might be reading the diary of myself at a corner of my house near a window. Flipping through my photo albums. All these happen when it's drizzling outside my house with some insects chirping in the bush which i can hear it clearly. Sometimes,i just love the feeling of lonely,so lonely that i feel so free.

Actually,i am at the bottom of my life. Because whole of my life is controlled by the surrounding now. Am i a loser? Control by people,control by money,control by everything that comes from people and money. Hmm....

What can i do for my life? What can i do for myself? What can i do? Sickening. Don't like it!!!! GO AWAY!

So,the melody of my life now is sad and bitter. Who's going to make it sound happy and sweet? Give me some more time.


God,help me~